God is Faithful to the Faithless
God is Faithful to the Faithless
During the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” (Matt. 7:7-8) That sounds great, right? Ask Jesus and He will give it to you. It sounds great and comforting but as Reaghan and I ask for something special in our own lives, it does not seem to be the reality. We plead with God and He knows our struggle but at times it almost seems that we are not going to get the answer we want.
The struggle we are experiencing is infertility. This journey started back in late 2015/early 2016. We kept trying with only disappointment to follow month after month. The decision was made to see a reproductive specialist in 2017. We were referred to Mississippi Reproductive Medicine in Jackson. The process began to see what is causing our problem. For the whole year, the doctor began to check off every possibility. I thank God for no medical problems from Reaghan or myself but frustration continued to grow. We spent all this money and time to test things only to find out that there is nothing wrong. Again, I am grateful for no medical issues but over a year into this process, there is still no reason why we are struggling with this issue.
We began to try a procedure called Intrauterine Insemination (IUI). Our hopes and prayers were that this procedure would solve the issue. We would have this procedure done in hopes that two weeks later we would have some good news. Four times we tried the IUI with no success. I know how hard I took it every month hearing “not pregnant” but I can only imagine the pain my wife had to go through to see that rejection as well.
Psalms 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Our heart’s desire is to have a child that we can give back to God. I think back to 1st Samuel 1 and how Hannah desired to have a child. Verse 7 says that God closed Hannah’s womb but she never stopped praying for a child. Oh, how I fail in this manner. With every rejection, my heart hurts and Satan starts to creep into my thoughts tempting me. Yes, I fall into those temptations. I stop praying. I stop reading the Scriptures. How can I read about God answering prayers when it seems that mine are not?
Every time, God never failed to show me that He is still there. He hears me when I call. I am not worthy of this kind of love. I have argued with God. I have sinned against God. My attitude toward God at times was not honoring to Him. Time and time again, God continued to remain faithful to me. As I was preparing a lesson for my students, God showed me 2nd Timothy 2:13. “If we are faithless, He remains faithful.” I am thankful for God continuing to remain faithful even when I am not faithful to Him.
If you are on this same journey like my wife and I, I want to encourage you and let you know that you are not alone. Maybe you are not on this journey but you can relate to the frustration and the temptations that come. Please know you are not alone. Jesus loved me so much to die for my sin and raise Himself from the dead. I don’t know where my journey may go from here but I know if Jesus can handle the cross and the tomb, then He can handle me, my sin and my struggles. Trust in Jesus for He can handle you, your sin and your struggles as well.
We ask that you would pray with us as we continue this journey. We will continue to seek God’s timing and have faith that when it is our time, He will provide. Waiting is the hardest part.