Brokenness and Boldness
Brokenness and Boldness
There is this great brokenness inside of me. I know it seems contradictory for me to say “great brokenness”, but it’s true. For so long I craved approval from a cowardly crowd. They fooled me into thinking that their life was full of excitement. The mask they wore was cunning. They deceived me. The constant war of worldly exception is a losing battle. The longer you fight, the deeper the scars. The war can never be won. You will never be enough for this world. Just when you start getting close to qualifying for the world’s standards, the bar is raised even higher, leaving you exhausted. I had no clue that being part of that crowd was a death sentence, until I started dying. I was drowning in the brokenness of failure to measure up. Little did I know that the waves of brokenness that were conquering me would be the same waves of brokenness that would sweep me off of my feet and carry me to shore.
Brokenness is not always a bad thing; as a matter of fact, brokenness breaks you down to your truest, most raw self. Besides, can you really love until you have been so numb that you have no sensitivity to it? Can God’s love even enter your heart if it is not completely shattered? Is there really power in standing for what you believe in until you have felt the frailty of rejection? Being bold is so much more than just saying you are a Christian; it is a proud announcement to the world that the more they try to break you the more God they will see. They can shake me and break me, but all they will find is a broken little girl with a God who loves to shine His glory through every feeble crack of my broken heart. I long for them to see that through brokenness and discontentment of this world, the deepest form of love is found. Mercy that saves even the darkest of souls. Grace that is greater than all sin. Love that screams “you may not be enough for this world, but you are enough for Me.” Don’t you want to be bold for a love like that? Don’t you want everyone else to feel that way also? This kind of love is not bold so that it might be applauded by others, but rather driven by a divine hunger to shed more light in this dark world so that they might see a small glimpse of what God’s love is really like.
There is this great brokenness inside of me, the more I break the more passion for boldness fills my soul. Being bold is not just a choice but rather a way of life.